the dream

I have a file of pictures on my computer labeled "Inspiration." It's the place where I keep all of the design photos that inspire me, as well as photos of pretty balloon-and-champagne-filled parties I'd like to one day throw, crafts and creative things I would like to try, clothes, shoes, and hair I love, and photos of things that fall into the category I've labeled "The Dream." The Dream is this place in my heart and in my mind where I will one day end up - husband, kids, dogs, friends, and family in tow.

When I've shared this dream with people, some have instantly understood it, their eyes sort of light up as they look at me and say, "Oh, yes, I know what you mean." Some people really do not understand. A farm-ish kind of place? Near-ish a city? And your family will live right next door? And your best friends, too? Llamas, and chickens, and dogs, a writer's shed, a room filled -wall-to-wall - with books, a hammock in the trees, and wha-? One person, who shall remain nameless to protect the identity of their unimaginative heart, actually responded to my starry-eyed waxing on the beauty of a fresh-picked dirt-specked tomato with, "That's weird. I like to know where my food comes from. I like it wrapped in plastic, right in the grocery store." I wish I had a photograph of the absolutely mystified look on my face when this nonsensical thing was said to me. How much closer can you get to knowing exactly where your food comes from than by picking it straight off of a plant?

This dream, as I have said, is not for everyone. But, it is certainly for me. I'm not sure when, or exactly how, this dream will come to fruition, but I know that some version of it will one day be my life. I like the idea that Kevin and I are working together toward a not-too-distant future that looks something like this:

Do you see the reading nook? The potting shed? Kevin's dream workshop?

I once shared this dream with a beloved friend, who seemed to understand right away. One day she sent me an email with the words, "When I win the lottery, I am going to buy you a writer's cabin." 

Oh, she definitely understands. 

A few years ago I came across this Tolstoy quote from the novella, Family Happiness, that spoke right to the core of what The Dream is in my heart. 

"I have lived through much, and now I think I have found what is needed for happiness. A quiet secluded life in the country, with the possibility of being useful to people to whom it is easy to do good, and who are not accustomed to have it done to them; then work which one hopes may be of some use; then rest, nature, books, music, love for one's neighbor - such is my idea of happiness. And then, on top of all that, you for a mate, and children, perhaps - what more can the heart of man desire?" 

I would add occasional trips to the city for city fun, bottles of wine shared with friends, large mugs of tea, seasons, and big wood dining tables around which a steady and rotating stream of people will sit for hearty meals. With dirt-fresh tomatoes on the menu. 

When I have my farm-ish house near-ish the city, will you come and eat with me?